








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 703 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1597 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1216 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1703 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $890,743 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pato | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | mermão10/10 | 50% | 173 |
| #3 | Insano | 49% | 160 |
| #4 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | KwezZ | 48% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KwezZ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | pato | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | mermão10/10 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | hmc | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KwezZ | 561 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Insano | 348 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | mermão10/10 | 312 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | pato | 185 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | hmc | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pato | +3.59 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | mermão10/10 | +1.71 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | Insano | +1.43 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | hmc | +1.23 | 70 | 61 |
| #5 | Jesus Take The Wheel | -0.21 | 63 | 52 |





