










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2649 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3020 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2507 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2518 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,736 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pato | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | mermão10/10 | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | クウイを手に入れる | 48% | 176 |
| #5 | Insano | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pato | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | クウイを手に入れる | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | hmc | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Insano | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insano | 300 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | mermão10/10 | 238 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | クウイを手に入れる | 193 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | hmc | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | pato | 128 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pato | +3.68 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | hmc | +1.83 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | mermão10/10 | +1.41 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Insano | +1.17 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | Jesus Take The Wheel | -1.24 | 61 | 52 |





