








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2834 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1292 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2481 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2045 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,776 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shazics | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | pato | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | mermão10/10 | 52% | 137 |
| #4 | hmc | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | クウイを手に入れる | 49% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | クウイを手に入れる | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | mermão10/10 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | KwezZ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | pato | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | hmc | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KwezZ | 400 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | mermão10/10 | 264 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | クウイを手に入れる | 178 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | pato | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | hmc | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pato | +3.27 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | mermão10/10 | +1.67 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | Insano | +1.67 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | hmc | +1.62 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Jesus Take The Wheel | -0.58 | 60 | 53 |





