








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1792 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1842 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1573 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,098 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insano | 50% | 48 |
| #2 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | クウイを手に入れる | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | KwezZ | 44% | 85 |
| #5 | mermão10/10 | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insano | 50% | 48 |
| #2 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | クウイを手に入れる | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | KwezZ | 44% | 85 |
| #5 | mermão10/10 | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | KwezZ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | クウイを手に入れる | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Insano | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KwezZ | 280 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Insano | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jesus Take The Wheel | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | クウイを手に入れる | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | mermão10/10 | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insano | +2.42 | 62 | 76 |
| #2 | hmc | +1.58 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | mermão10/10 | -0.26 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | Jesus Take The Wheel | -1.67 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | クウイを手に入れる | -1.78 | 40 | 39 |





