








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 531 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2569 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3914 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4604 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3621 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,922,852 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Rick Brown™ ⇆trades | 60% | 92 |
| #2 | Der Lieferjunge | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | $mooth Criminal | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 52% | 135 |
| #5 | Electroo | 51% | 57 |





