








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2062 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7600 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6825 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3552 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5233 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $902,668 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE WITCHER | 75% | 36 |
| #2 | inspector HaZe | 60% | 92 |
| #3 | 2DMZ3 | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Der Lieferjunge | 56% | 127 |
| #5 | Hirngulasch 3000 | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | fleet | 49% | 78 |
| #11 | ꧁🅷🅴🆃🆉꧂ ツ | 48% | 44 |
| #12 | KurumaTheHusky | 47% | 49 |
| #13 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 42% | 36 |
| #14 | Denno8630 | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2DMZ3 | 191 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | fleet | 171 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Der Lieferjunge | 148 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hirngulasch 3000 | 135 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Rick Brown™ ⇆trades | +2.94 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | 2DMZ3 | +2.75 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | inspector HaZe | +2.49 | 54 | 38 |
| #4 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | +2.13 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | Der Lieferjunge | +1.69 | 80 | 42 |





