








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1672 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2437 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 615 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,239 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cherryberrymango | 55% | 31 |
| #8 | h0ax | 52% | 79 |
| #9 | Bear animatronic | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | RealUseful | 45% | 44 |
| #11 | USSR DANCE TEAM | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 22 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | h0ax | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | de_DustIIn | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Curtis Crouse | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Bear animatronic | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 547 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | de_DustIIn | 379 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jester | 310 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Curtis Crouse | 217 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chuck | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | +4.90 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | h0ax | +4.19 | 64 | 38 |
| #3 | de_DustIIn | +2.76 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Curtis Crouse | +1.77 | 61 | 41 |
| #5 | Jester | +1.14 | 43 | 68 |





