








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2551 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2606 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1462 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1338 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,219 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 57% | 155 |
| #8 | Bear animatronic | 57% | 30 |
| #9 | Steve Jobs Holder of Ligma | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | RealUseful | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | Chuck | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 19 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Curtis Crouse | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | h0ax | 10 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Bear animatronic | 8 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | Chuck | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 627 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | de_DustIIn | 291 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Curtis Crouse | 135 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chuck | 89 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Magic Clicks | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | +4.53 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | h0ax | +3.06 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | de_DustIIn | +1.61 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | Curtis Crouse | +1.44 | 58 | 40 |
| #5 | Jester | +0.44 | 46 | 67 |





