








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3302 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2535 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2640 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1771 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,076 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Steve Jobs Holder of Ligma | 55% | 31 |
| #9 | Chuck | 50% | 134 |
| #10 | Bear animatronic | 46% | 89 |
| #11 | cherryberrymango | 46% | 72 |
| #12 | RealUseful | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ax | 36 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Jester | 27 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Curtis Crouse | 21 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Bear animatronic | 18 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | de_DustIIn | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jester | 478 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | de_DustIIn | 428 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Chuck | 242 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Curtis Crouse | 190 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | h0ax | 156 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | +3.95 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | h0ax | +2.64 | 66 | 40 |
| #3 | de_DustIIn | +1.51 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Curtis Crouse | +1.21 | 62 | 38 |
| #5 | Jester | -0.42 | 44 | 64 |





