








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1085 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8979 | 41% |
| Smokes | 5970 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2771 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4275 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,857 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CBAKE | 51% | 270 |
| #6 | YiLongMa | 46% | 172 |
| #7 | df7 | 46% | 136 |
| #8 | tipsie | 44% | 147 |
| #9 | Sp00kySpaghetti | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CBAKE | 55 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | tipsie | 19 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | K.doe | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | df7 | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K.doe | 1314 | 0.32 | 34 min |
| #2 | CBAKE | 715 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Kenobi | 704 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | YiLongMa | 330 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | tipsie | 262 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K.doe | +5.72 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | Kenobi | +3.50 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Spk | +1.30 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Preme | +0.87 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | YiLongMa | -0.51 | 57 | 56 |





