








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9739 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7614 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4587 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4905 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,378,801 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Preme | 58% | 91 |
| #2 | K.doe | 57% | 145 |
| #3 | Kenobi | 50% | 532 |
| #4 | CBAKE | 49% | 620 |
| #5 | PomeloTheReaper | 48% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PomeloTheReaper | 48% | 111 |
| #6 | Spk | 46% | 172 |
| #7 | tipsie | 41% | 342 |
| #8 | Sp00kySpaghetti | 41% | 164 |
| #9 | df7 | 40% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CBAKE | 122 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 43 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | tipsie | 28 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | PomeloTheReaper | 19 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | df7 | 16 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 1926 | 0.19 | 52 min |
| #2 | CBAKE | 1443 | 0.12 | 33 min |
| #3 | K.doe | 811 | 0.29 | 21 min |
| #4 | Spk | 746 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #5 | tipsie | 695 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K.doe | +6.30 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | Kenobi | +3.97 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Spk | +1.78 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | PomeloTheReaper | +1.00 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | Preme | +0.40 | 69 | 59 |





