








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 770 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13630 | 46% |
| Smokes | 7080 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3177 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 5731 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,165,642 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spk | 62% | 211 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 61% | 522 |
| #3 | YiLongMa | 57% | 145 |
| #4 | Sp00kySpaghetti | 56% | 152 |
| #5 | CBAKE | 55% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | YiLongMa | 57% | 145 |
| #4 | Sp00kySpaghetti | 56% | 152 |
| #5 | CBAKE | 55% | 163 |
| #6 | df7 | 55% | 98 |
| #7 | tipsie | 50% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 28 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | CBAKE | 21 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Spk | 17 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | tipsie | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | df7 | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 1766 | 0.17 | 46 min |
| #2 | Spk | 799 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | tipsie | 338 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | CBAKE | 336 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | YiLongMa | 197 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K.doe | +5.30 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | Kenobi | +2.34 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Spk | +0.89 | 57 | 69 |
| #4 | YiLongMa | -1.35 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | CBAKE | -2.57 | 58 | 44 |





