








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 649 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,928 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4702 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4742 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4569 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4630 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,334,475 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CANNABIS SATIVA | 56% | 179 |
| #2 | ✪ ds!Gn | 53% | 161 |
| #3 | HajeN^ | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Tratt | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | MenSoft | 50% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Xaren | 49% | 284 |
| #8 | 死亡 | 48% | 64 |
| #9 | Domer -Farsan Baloo | 47% | 59 |
| #10 | Känslig | 46% | 96 |
| #11 | Trollaren | 45% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trollaren | 20 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | MenSoft | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Känslig | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | 死亡 | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | CANNABIS SATIVA | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trollaren | 563 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | KILLAB | 543 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | CANNABIS SATIVA | 532 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | MenSoft | 515 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #5 | ✪ ds!Gn | 360 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tratt | +3.38 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | MenSoft | +2.09 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | ✪ ds!Gn | +1.09 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | KILLAB | +0.72 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | CANNABIS SATIVA | +0.46 | 77 | 74 |





