








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2409 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2548 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1786 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1519 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,086 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Känslig | 47% | 79 |
| #9 | RobbanJS | 45% | 192 |
| #10 | CANNABIS SATIVA | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | HajeN^ | 41% | 41 |
| #12 | ☁ walle | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobbanJS | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | MenSoft | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Känslig | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Xaren | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | HajeN^ | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobbanJS | 488 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | MenSoft | 163 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | KILLAB | 146 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Xaren | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tratt | 118 | 0.11 | 4 min |





