








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2301 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1114 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1715 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,876 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Philton L. | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | byfahrer | 63% | 76 |
| #4 | be4rry2k | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | lulas | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Philton L. | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | byfahrer | 63% | 76 |
| #4 | be4rry2k | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | lulas | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byfahrer | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | lulas | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byfahrer | 235 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | lulas | 161 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Philton L. | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | hades | 56 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | be4rry2k | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | +2.89 | 86 | 77 |
| #2 | byfahrer | +1.52 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | Philton L. | +0.97 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | ACE MaKKeR | +0.95 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | lulas | -0.29 | 73 | 66 |





