








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1150 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1611 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,217 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 48% | 62 |
| #2 | Kilo | 44% | 174 |
| #3 | Odsius | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | I LOVE MISATO | 43% | 94 |
| #5 | Nadar6401 | 42% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Odsius | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | I LOVE MISATO | 43% | 94 |
| #5 | Nadar6401 | 42% | 67 |
| #6 | I bottom for knife skins | 35% | 49 |
| #7 | tendy | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 14 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Kilo | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | I LOVE MISATO | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Nadar6401 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | tendy | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | 311 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nadar6401 | 184 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kilo | 154 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mizu | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Odsius | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | +1.63 | 35 | 43 |
| #2 | I LOVE MISATO | +1.29 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | HalfNarwhal | -0.26 | 59 | 37 |
| #4 | Kilo | -1.11 | 50 | 34 |
| #5 | Odsius | -1.52 | 19 | 49 |





