








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1943 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 254 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4745 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4550 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3682 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4630 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,280,915 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 48% | 410 |
| #2 | Odsius | 45% | 268 |
| #3 | HalfNarwhal | 43% | 94 |
| #4 | Swade | 40% | 52 |
| #5 | tendy | 39% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HalfNarwhal | 43% | 94 |
| #4 | Swade | 40% | 52 |
| #5 | tendy | 39% | 175 |
| #6 | I bottom for knife skins | 31% | 275 |
| #7 | MF BOOM | 25% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 52 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | tendy | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | I bottom for knife skins | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Swade | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Odsius | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 352 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #2 | Odsius | 313 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | HalfNarwhal | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | tendy | 75 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | I bottom for knife skins | 57 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | +2.76 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | Swade | +2.42 | 67 | 46 |
| #3 | Mizu | +1.87 | 38 | 33 |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | -0.31 | 69 | 45 |
| #5 | tendy | -1.68 | 35 | 35 |





