










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 182 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1215 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1651 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2128 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2186 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,784 of utility $287 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 50% | 181 |
| #2 | Swade | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | I LOVE MISATO | 45% | 268 |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | tendy | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | I LOVE MISATO | 45% | 268 |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | tendy | 41% | 70 |
| #6 | I bottom for knife skins | 33% | 156 |
| #7 | MF BOOM | 26% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | 36 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Mizu | 30 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | I bottom for knife skins | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | tendy | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Swade | 5 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | 644 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Mizu | 189 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | tendy | 32 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | I bottom for knife skins | 26 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | +3.87 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | Swade | +2.99 | 71 | 45 |
| #3 | Mizu | +2.72 | 40 | 36 |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | +0.34 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | tendy | -0.72 | 33 | 34 |





