










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 285 | 9% |
| Smokes | 885 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1386 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,254,947 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 37% | 179 |
| #2 | HalfNarwhal | 35% | 49 |
| #3 | Odsius | 33% | 156 |
| #4 | I LOVE MISATO | 31% | 275 |
| #5 | Swade | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Odsius | 33% | 156 |
| #4 | I LOVE MISATO | 31% | 275 |
| #5 | Swade | 30% | 33 |
| #6 | tendy | 24% | 76 |
| #7 | MF BOOM | 18% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | 38 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Mizu | 32 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | tendy | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Odsius | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | MF BOOM | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | 718 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Odsius | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mizu | 194 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | tendy | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE MISATO | +3.77 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | Swade | +3.29 | 70 | 48 |
| #3 | Mizu | +2.34 | 40 | 37 |
| #4 | HalfNarwhal | -0.04 | 70 | 46 |
| #5 | tendy | -1.12 | 34 | 34 |





