








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3856 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3330 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2588 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2131 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,150 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 919 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azor | 43% | 96 |
| #2 | lehuionmagique | 41% | 285 |
| #3 | Radrian | 38% | 50 |
| #4 | SolventLime | 37% | 233 |
| #5 | Jamal Obawls | 37% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | lehuionmagique | 41% | 285 |
| #3 | Radrian | 38% | 50 |
| #4 | SolventLime | 37% | 233 |
| #5 | Jamal Obawls | 37% | 103 |
| #6 | Bober Kurwa | 31% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lehuionmagique | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Radrian | 17 | 0.0175 |
| #3 | Azor | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | SolventLime | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Bober Kurwa | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lehuionmagique | 770 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Azor | 512 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | Bober Kurwa | 310 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Radrian | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | SolventLime | 131 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radrian | +3.67 | 49 | 58 |
| #2 | lehuionmagique | +0.32 | 61 | 43 |
| #3 | Jean Simard | -1.13 | 50 | 48 |
| #4 | Bober Kurwa | -1.22 | 16 | 44 |
| #5 | SolventLime | -1.36 | 58 | 37 |





