








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1790 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1071 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 896 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,827 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i killed infant babies in a road | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Jean Simard | 43% | 96 |
| #3 | SolventLime | 42% | 65 |
| #4 | lehuionmagique | 40% | 72 |
| #5 | Jamal Obawls | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jean Simard | 43% | 96 |
| #3 | SolventLime | 42% | 65 |
| #4 | lehuionmagique | 40% | 72 |
| #5 | Jamal Obawls | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | Radrian | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i killed infant babies in a road | 6 | 0.0278 |
| #2 | Radrian | 5 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | lehuionmagique | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Jean Simard | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SolventLime | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Simard | 365 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | lehuionmagique | 206 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Radrian | 50 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | SolventLime | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | i killed infant babies in a road | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radrian | +3.90 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | i killed infant babies in a road | +2.53 | 39 | 47 |
| #3 | lehuionmagique | -0.15 | 59 | 42 |
| #4 | Jean Simard | -0.92 | 44 | 47 |
| #5 | SolventLime | -1.03 | 54 | 41 |





