








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1924 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1962 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2541 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,533,328 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Simard | 41% | 285 |
| #2 | Azor | 40% | 72 |
| #3 | Radrian | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | SolventLime | 39% | 166 |
| #5 | Jamal Obawls | 36% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Azor | 40% | 72 |
| #3 | Radrian | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | SolventLime | 39% | 166 |
| #5 | Jamal Obawls | 36% | 107 |
| #6 | Bober Kurwa | 32% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radrian | 19 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | Jean Simard | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Azor | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | SolventLime | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Bober Kurwa | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Simard | 1021 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Azor | 380 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bober Kurwa | 200 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Radrian | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | SolventLime | 107 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radrian | +3.81 | 51 | 59 |
| #2 | lehuionmagique | +0.36 | 62 | 44 |
| #3 | Jean Simard | -1.33 | 51 | 47 |
| #4 | Azor | -1.53 | 24 | 55 |
| #5 | Bober Kurwa | -1.69 | 14 | 44 |





