








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6975 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4525 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5995 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,280,110 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LimeGrab | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Ruski | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | Indy | 62% | 169 |
| #4 | thr0w | 58% | 59 |
| #5 | Zako | 52% | 493 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Indy | 62% | 169 |
| #4 | thr0w | 58% | 59 |
| #5 | Zako | 52% | 493 |
| #6 | xpl1cit˚·。 | 50% | 96 |
| #7 | kenyC | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zako | 35 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Indy | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | kenyC | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | LimeGrab | 8 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | xpl1cit˚·。 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zako | 1594 | 0.16 | 45 min |
| #2 | Indy | 415 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | xpl1cit˚·。 | 264 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ruski | 255 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | kenyC | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indy | +2.05 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | LimeGrab | +1.70 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | Ruski | +1.55 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | Zako | +1.19 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | SwagDon / PaperTracer | +0.63 | 69 | 59 |





