








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 804 | 25% |
| Smokes | 847 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 674 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 916 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,512 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jungelsfrajeru^ | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | anxiety | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | real nothing. g4skins | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | quez0 | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Relixxx | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | quez0 | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Relixxx | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Youngkosa | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | LukiLuki12 | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | kada | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kada | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | jungelsfrajeru^ | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Youngkosa | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | anxiety | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kada | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | quez0 | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Relixxx | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | real nothing. g4skins | 35 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Youngkosa | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quez0 | +1.53 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | real nothing. g4skins | +1.45 | 91 | 73 |
| #3 | toffix | +0.23 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Relixxx | +0.17 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | kada | +0.04 | 70 | 64 |





