








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 934 | 20% |
| Smokes | 966 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1629 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1130 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,757 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commi | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Faró | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | hz | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | eggiFUNCTION- | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | Smariz | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | texasmaggi | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | Hazard | 38% | 8 |
| #14 | Xtazy <1nf3ct> | 30% | 10 |
| #15 | HODGY♛ | 25% | 8 |
| #16 | e1zarinn | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demigod | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eMbo | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Blóm | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Xtazy <1nf3ct> | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Faró | 27 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | e1zarinn | 22 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hz | +3.15 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | HODGY♛ | +3.14 | 80 | 81 |
| #3 | Smariz | +2.23 | 94 | 50 |
| #4 | eggiFUNCTION- | +1.36 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | Blóm | +0.34 | 71 | 71 |





