








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 16% |
| Smokes | 736 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1357 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1092 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,607 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loversGonnalove | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | zmoney | 55% | 125 |
| #3 | neteX | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | wave beam | 52% | 62 |
| #5 | jj | 50% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bo0seurs | 46% | 57 |
| #7 | tt | 45% | 80 |
| #8 | KLOSE | 44% | 126 |
| #9 | neon | 44% | 88 |
| #10 | zieG | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo0seurs | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | KLOSE | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | neon | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | jj | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | zmoney | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLOSE | 365 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | zmoney | 243 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | wave beam | 224 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | loversGonnalove | 101 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | tt | 92 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jj | +2.98 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | neon | +2.33 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | neteX | +1.66 | 88 | 54 |
| #4 | KLOSE | +0.95 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | bo0seurs | +0.77 | 85 | 44 |





