








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3557 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2680 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2557 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2048 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,131 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nabeep Nworb | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Sketchy_Canadian | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | jcr | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | -Alkaeda' | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | CRACKADDICT22 | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -Alkaeda' | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | CRACKADDICT22 | 57% | 21 |
| #6 | ✪D4V1DSSJツ.exe | 57% | 35 |
| #7 | alonsosanojaccs | 48% | 79 |
| #8 | ray | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alonsosanojaccs | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | jcr | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ray | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alonsosanojaccs | 305 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | jcr | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sketchy_Canadian | 110 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪D4V1DSSJツ.exe | 68 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | -Alkaeda' | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jcr | +3.24 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | ray | +1.64 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | -Alkaeda' | +0.77 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | alonsosanojaccs | +0.61 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | CRACKADDICT22 | +0.17 | 71 | 41 |





