








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 889 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1799 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1728 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,025 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | g1n | 52% | 52 |
| #7 | amey ❤ | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | foolse | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | RaZeD | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Silver 2 master | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「reaper」 | 403 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | g1n | 205 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | xpanddoge | 193 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | foolse | 107 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | reapxr | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reapxr | +4.20 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | Silver 2 master | +2.20 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | 「reaper」 | +2.06 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | foolse | +1.12 | 46 | 80 |
| #5 | xpanddoge | +0.99 | 64 | 73 |





