








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 413 | 15% |
| Smokes | 511 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1088 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 660 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $103,999 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Duck. | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Teh_Faber | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Thåmas 2k | 51% | 144 |
| #4 | Sh3lter 2021 | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | O shiri | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sh3lter 2021 | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | O shiri | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | ✪ S1mp | 46% | 70 |
| #7 | M1land | 45% | 51 |
| #8 | Vaskebjørn | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1land | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Vaskebjørn | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Thåmas 2k | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | ✪ S1mp | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Mr. Duck. | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ S1mp | 232 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Thåmas 2k | 176 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Duck. | 154 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | M1land | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vaskebjørn | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Duck. | +6.14 | 88 | 80 |
| #2 | Thåmas 2k | +3.09 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | ✪ S1mp | +1.01 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | M1land | +0.41 | 54 | 56 |
| #5 | Vaskebjørn | -0.30 | 72 | 60 |





