








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1225 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1024 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1950 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,254 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Duck. | 68% | 50 |
| #2 | Teh_Faber | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | VorHerre | 51% | 144 |
| #4 | O shiri | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Vaskebjørn | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | O shiri | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Vaskebjørn | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | ✪ S1mp | 45% | 135 |
| #7 | M1land | 45% | 105 |
| #8 | Sh3lter 2021 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ S1mp | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | VorHerre | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | M1land | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Mr. Duck. | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Vaskebjørn | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ S1mp | 480 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | M1land | 244 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Duck. | 219 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | VorHerre | 144 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vaskebjørn | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Duck. | +6.13 | 90 | 80 |
| #2 | Thåmas 2k | +1.91 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | ✪ S1mp | +0.36 | 57 | 56 |
| #4 | Vaskebjørn | -0.13 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | M1land | -0.47 | 54 | 62 |





