








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 767 | 23% |
| Smokes | 834 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 798 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,584 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0cus | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | LIGHTNXNG | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | dazhai | 66% | 41 |
| #4 | SIMBAD | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | Flicky | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Flicky | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | silrak ;)) | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | noah | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | Fizzy | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | monkey | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dazhai | 11 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | SIMBAD | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | monkey | 3 | 0.0294 |
| #4 | noah | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dazhai | 148 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | SIMBAD | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Flicky | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | noah | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fizzy | 31 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flicky | +2.58 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Fizzy | +2.54 | 95 | 75 |
| #3 | SIMBAD | +1.98 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | silrak ;)) | +1.54 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | seirenFr0st† | +1.12 | 70 | 67 |





