








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 781 | 21% |
| Smokes | 793 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1110 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,387 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | NEOX | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | monkey | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | xey | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | dazhai | 57% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | monkey | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | xey | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | dazhai | 57% | 136 |
| #6 | SIMBAD | 52% | 69 |
| #7 | seirenFr0st† | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dazhai | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | monkey | 11 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | SIMBAD | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | seirenFr0st† | 5 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | NEOX | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dazhai | 485 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | SIMBAD | 210 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | monkey | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | xey | 75 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | NEOX | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok)))))))))))))))) | +5.05 | 93 | 45 |
| #2 | noah | +0.84 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | dazhai | +0.76 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | monkey | +0.57 | 35 | 52 |
| #5 | NEOX | +0.50 | 77 | 65 |





