








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1201 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1897 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1945 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,148 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Outboardbiscuit | 353 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | NinjaLiamJack | 146 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Iguana | 83 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | RODDERS | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | gFREDswqa | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phatsolew | +1.99 | 77 | 49 |
| #2 | RODDERS | +1.31 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | Iguana | +0.96 | 80 | 29 |
| #4 | gFREDswqa | +0.41 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Outboardbiscuit | +0.34 | 62 | 70 |





