








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5485 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4738 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3897 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3323 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,021,074 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RODDERS | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Minimoz | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Jammy | 55% | 95 |
| #4 | BeerDrinker56 | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | ☈︎℧︎Ⓢ︎⊤︎𝕐 | 51% | 261 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BeerDrinker56 | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | ☈︎℧︎Ⓢ︎⊤︎𝕐 | 51% | 261 |
| #6 | Tom | 48% | 52 |
| #7 | Outboardbiscuit | 46% | 105 |
| #8 | TheFunbase | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☈︎℧︎Ⓢ︎⊤︎𝕐 | 28 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Jammy | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Outboardbiscuit | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | RODDERS | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Tom | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☈︎℧︎Ⓢ︎⊤︎𝕐 | 376 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | Outboardbiscuit | 300 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | RODDERS | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jammy | 102 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tom | 96 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Outboardbiscuit | +1.50 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | RODDERS | +1.39 | 59 | 74 |
| #3 | BeerDrinker56 | +1.36 | 79 | 34 |
| #4 | gFREDDO | +0.22 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Jammy | +0.22 | 54 | 40 |





