








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2239 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2372 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1520 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1751 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,575 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 731 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrappy | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | FLURTLE | 50% | 50 |
| #3 | Phoria | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Chelly | 44% | 114 |
| #5 | TwistyPac | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | grady | 39% | 36 |
| #9 | Milf Predator | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | Nova55 | 37% | 99 |
| #11 | S ¢ o o b e r t | 33% | 21 |
| #12 | lloyd | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrappy | 10 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | baku | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Chelly | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Fred | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | S ¢ o o b e r t | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chelly | 403 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | baku | 224 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | FLURTLE | 90 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | grady | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | TwistyPac | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lloyd | +2.80 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | Scrappy | +2.66 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | TwistyPac | +2.16 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | Milf Predator | +1.47 | 60 | 24 |
| #5 | S ¢ o o b e r t | +1.16 | 85 | 49 |





