








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4640 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3114 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6061 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,876,196 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worst Headache Ever | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | sk | 59% | 79 |
| #3 | . | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | ♥Rain jr | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | Nova55 | 48% | 460 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | baku | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | Toe Knee | 45% | 40 |
| #9 | brody | 44% | 114 |
| #10 | TwistyPac | 43% | 67 |
| #11 | ☁blorp✂ | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nova55 | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | brody | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | . | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | sk | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | TwistyPac | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sk | 192 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | . | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♥Rain jr | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | brody | 172 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Toe Knee | 172 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | +3.28 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | TwistyPac | +2.79 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Worst Headache Ever | +2.74 | 56 | 74 |
| #4 | Milf Predator | +2.51 | 63 | 28 |
| #5 | sk | +2.13 | 61 | 58 |





