








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1942 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2529 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2314 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3041 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,696 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sasaki | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | FLURTLE | 42% | 101 |
| #3 | lloyd | 42% | 106 |
| #4 | hardest goodbye | 41% | 64 |
| #5 | 𝙕𝙖𝙧𝙧 ^,..,^ | 40% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lloyd | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | 𝙕𝙖𝙧𝙧 ^,..,^ | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | FLURTLE | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | clyde | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | brody | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙕𝙖𝙧𝙧 ^,..,^ | 750 | 0.37 | 21 min |
| #2 | lloyd | 225 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | FLURTLE | 145 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | hardest goodbye | 128 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | sasaki | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙕𝙖𝙧𝙧 ^,..,^ | +4.02 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | lloyd | +3.26 | 82 | 51 |
| #3 | brody | -0.75 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | grady | -1.40 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | FLURTLE | -1.51 | 44 | 56 |





