








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 216 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3514 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2969 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1682 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2144 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,645 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paB pihC | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Soma | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Nukes | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | FlameOG | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 913 | 0.30 | 27 min |
| #2 | Nukes | 348 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | jpanッ | 265 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | n1kster | 174 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | paB pihC | 139 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jac0jac0 | +2.47 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | Soma | +1.98 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | paB pihC | +1.56 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | Glimpus | +1.49 | 87 | 63 |
| #5 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | +1.34 | 54 | 67 |





