








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3014 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3126 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3153 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3546 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,099,408 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Glimpus | 47% | 73 |
| #12 | jpanッ | 43% | 128 |
| #13 | Skiffle | 43% | 21 |
| #14 | Soma | 37% | 27 |
| #15 | JuanCawk | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpanッ | 589 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mystery129 | 467 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | lawz | 361 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Glimpus | 266 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Covie | 215 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staircase | +5.17 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Century | +3.07 | 79 | 44 |
| #3 | aam | +1.69 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | Mystery129 | +1.38 | 86 | 71 |
| #5 | Doyl | +0.98 | 73 | 61 |





