








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4016 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4954 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2483 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2340 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,428 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DragZ | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | B2K_ | 68% | 47 |
| #3 | ITACHI ZAZA | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | PauLekiNn | 65% | 49 |
| #5 | [16] ReD_TiX | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PauLekiNn | 278 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | B2K_ | 220 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ploedsinn | 119 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | MarcelDragZ | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | rOux | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |





