








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2941 | 15% |
| Smokes | 7312 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 5398 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3953 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,580,797 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jacke Wie Hose | 48% | 33 |
| #6 | rOux | 46% | 96 |
| #7 | Jake | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | ᴾʳʸ m4FOX | 40% | 45 |
| #9 | DEHenry | 35% | 37 |





