








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 148 | 22% |
| Smokes | 139 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 206 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 193 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,532 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marswolf | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | gambit femboy | 73% | 30 |
| #3 | Stupid idot Mo | 69% | 29 |
| #4 | Jammy | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | badger | 61% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gambit femboy | 73% | 30 |
| #3 | Stupid idot Mo | 69% | 29 |
| #4 | Jammy | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | badger | 61% | 41 |
| #6 | Scooty | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gambit femboy | 10 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Stupid idot Mo | 10 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | badger | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Marswolf | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Jammy | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badger | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | gambit femboy | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Scooty | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stupid idot Mo | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Marswolf | 28 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jammy | +3.57 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | badger | +3.27 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Marswolf | +2.57 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Stupid idot Mo | +0.61 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | venomtorture | +0.14 | 72 | 42 |





