








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 175 | 17% |
| Smokes | 133 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 527 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 191 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,100 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | venomtorture | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Jammy | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Stupid idot Mo | 48% | 69 |
| #4 | badger | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Marswolf | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jammy | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Stupid idot Mo | 48% | 69 |
| #4 | badger | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Marswolf | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | Scooty | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | venomtorture | 17 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | Stupid idot Mo | 14 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Scooty | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Marswolf | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | badger | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooty | 161 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Marswolf | 105 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | badger | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stupid idot Mo | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | venomtorture | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badger | +2.67 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | Marswolf | +0.95 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | venomtorture | +0.70 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | Jammy | +0.26 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Stupid idot Mo | -0.17 | 62 | 55 |





