








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 248 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 625 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2363 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1119 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1264 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,810 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | venomtorture | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | badger | 49% | 247 |
| #3 | Marswolf | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | gambit femboy | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | Jammy | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | badger | 49% | 247 |
| #3 | Marswolf | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | gambit femboy | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | Jammy | 40% | 53 |
| #6 | Scooty | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gambit femboy | 15 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | venomtorture | 14 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | badger | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Scooty | 8 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Marswolf | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooty | 185 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | badger | 162 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Marswolf | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | gambit femboy | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jammy | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badger | +2.96 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Marswolf | +1.88 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | Jammy | +0.25 | 71 | 43 |
| #4 | venomtorture | +0.08 | 74 | 44 |
| #5 | Stupid idot Mo | -1.15 | 68 | 48 |





