








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 9 matches | 2,321 | |
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 25% |
| Smokes | 360 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,783 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rotte kongen cs.money | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | noike | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | grumpyMonk | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Bukhavez | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | L1ND | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | iAvocado | 58% | 19 |
| #10 | KralleJ | 56% | 18 |
| #11 | Shadow Eagle | 50% | 2 |
| #12 | ✪ SH!va1337 | 50% | 2 |
| #13 | FrekaFiskeNN^^ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bukhavez | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | rotte kongen cs.money | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iAvocado | 78 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | KralleJ | 58 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bukhavez | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | lau's | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Frøslevv | 15 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grumpyMonk | +7.73 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | Bukhavez | +3.85 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | Botman | +2.70 | 91 | 66 |
| #4 | Shadow Eagle | +2.49 | 93 | 65 |
| #5 | rotte kongen cs.money | +2.04 | 83 | 62 |





