








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6370 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8100 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3774 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5530 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,839 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #1 dj in this whole planet | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Monesy D. Goofy | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | cism | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | #mangogate¯_( ͡O͜__ʖ ͡__O)____/¯ | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | camm0-dog | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny_dang | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Monesy D. Goofy | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Jarden Smelah | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | cf2099 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | #mangogate¯_( ͡O͜__ʖ ͡__O)____/¯ | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monesy D. Goofy | 422 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | johnny_dang | 417 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jarden Smelah | 308 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hadouken! | 248 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | cf2099 | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #mangogate¯_( ͡O͜__ʖ ͡__O)____/¯ | +5.70 | 91 | 53 |
| #2 | johnny_dang | +2.39 | 74 | 77 |
| #3 | Monesy D. Goofy | +1.68 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Hadouken! | +1.50 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Jarden Smelah | +0.72 | 85 | 59 |





