








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6112 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2820 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2421 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,289 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #1 dj in this whole planet | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Jill Biden | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | cism | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Jarden Smelah | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | johnny_dang | 49% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | johnny_dang | 49% | 99 |
| #6 | Hadouken! | 47% | 74 |
| #7 | camm0-dog | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | cf2099 | 44% | 62 |
| #9 | D. Brittleshits | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny_dang | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | cf2099 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | camm0-dog | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Hadouken! | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Jarden Smelah | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jill Biden | 456 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | johnny_dang | 283 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hadouken! | 151 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | cf2099 | 105 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | camm0-dog | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny_dang | +1.54 | 76 | 76 |
| #2 | Monesy D. Goofy | +1.54 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | Hadouken! | +1.52 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | Jarden Smelah | +0.34 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | Jill Biden | -0.83 | 52 | 65 |





