








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2869 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4602 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3681 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3009 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,972 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 66% | 73 |
| #2 | Spk | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | YiLongMa | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | CBAKE | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | V3N3FlCUS | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spk | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | YiLongMa | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | CBAKE | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | V3N3FlCUS | 48% | 86 |
| #6 | tipsie | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CBAKE | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Spk | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | YiLongMa | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | V3N3FlCUS | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 285 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | V3N3FlCUS | 247 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Spk | 211 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | YiLongMa | 203 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | CBAKE | 180 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | +4.32 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Spk | +1.74 | 58 | 68 |
| #3 | Preme | +1.20 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | YiLongMa | -0.11 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | CBAKE | -1.21 | 63 | 44 |





