








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2531 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3950 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2785 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2560 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,686,526 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHero1994 | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | S1BO☜☯☞[GER] | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Filou. | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | kyouden 𐕣 | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | Mendax | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | iTaXx' | 44% | 186 |
| #8 | kielsie | 40% | 57 |
| #9 | ャ_Uff_ャ | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | 54m4n | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | Treasli | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTaXx' | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | kielsie | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | kyouden 𐕣 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Treasli | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ャ_Uff_ャ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTaXx' | 597 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | kyouden 𐕣 | 191 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | ャ_Uff_ャ | 132 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mendax | 83 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | S1BO☜☯☞[GER] | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTaXx' | +2.29 | 77 | 49 |
| #2 | xiWuNNy | +1.21 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Filou. | +0.66 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | 54m4n | +0.53 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | S1BO☜☯☞[GER] | +0.51 | 85 | 66 |





