








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 236 | 39% |
| Smokes | 138 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 64 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 163 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $35,217 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | SIMBAD | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | SimZn | 100% | 5 |
| #4 | Volltare | 100% | 5 |
| #5 | julius | 86% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | NEOX | 83% | 6 |
| #7 | dazhai | 83% | 6 |
| #8 | tobseN | 82% | 11 |
| #9 | geno:v | 67% | 3 |
| #10 | KDone webset.dk | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | julius | 2 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | KDone webset.dk | 2 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | monkey | 2 | 0.0299 |
| #4 | SIMBAD | 2 | 0.0299 |
| #5 | tobseN | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobseN | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | dazhai | 25 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | KDone webset.dk | 22 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Volltare | 16 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | julius | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jona | +8.15 | 95 | 62 |
| #2 | Volltare | +1.13 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | KDone webset.dk | +0.47 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | SIMBAD | +0.44 | 74 | 39 |
| #5 | dazhai | -0.06 | 80 | 68 |





